There Are A Lot Of True Clichés In This One

So like two years ago, or ever six months ago this song would have been my theme song. I'm a huge fan so I'm gonna share a little bit of the updated version of fy life and I"m gonna explain why I like this song and why I think it applies to life. So get ready :)Fch

"Like a small boat

On the ocean

Sending big waves

Into motion"

Let's talk about this for a second. Everyone makes big waves. I know it sounds cheesy and cliche but it's true. Everyone matters and everyone effects more people than you can ever know. That's why it's so important to be kind because you don't want to create adverse waves. There have been a whole bunch of people who have created waves both positive and negative in my life. And I'm really grateful for the people who have been a positive part of my life.

Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

I feel like this continues to make my point. One word can change so much, one match can influence so many lives. Just keep that bit in mind. My hope is that we can speak words that will open hearts and influence for good. So I'm done talking about this bit.

And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time

This part of the song seriously spoke to me. I can't tell you how often I DON'T say the things I think or feel and describing them as "wrecking balls" is literally the best way I could have possibly imagined. Let me tell you a story. There's this boy who I've known for quite a while and we're not like SUPER good friends but we've always been on good-ish terms. The real things about this though is that I've kind of had a crush on him for basically forever. And it's not like weird or anything, I've just always thought he was really good looking, and he was in my ward and he was so cool and I tried to avoid telling people for a while but of course the girls in my ward found out and they teased me relentlessly. The other thing is that I didn't date a ton in high school but the one boy I really did kind of want to go on a date with was him. I never asked him out and he never knew so we didn't ever go on a date. And I think that's my only regret. I know it kind of sounds silly but we're in contact right now and he's not really in a position to be dating anyone and I'm hoping to leave on my mission but when I get home if he's single I've already kind of promised myself that I'm gonna ask him on a date. The only way to get those wrecking balls out of our minds is to say what we're thinking. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we should speak up! Say what's on your mind and if you can't resolve something now then commit to resolve it as soon as you can. I know I used a kind of silly example but if you want more I've got them, this is just the one that been on my mind. Speak up! You shouldn't have to get to screaming to rid yourself of the wrecking balls. Good luck! :)

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song

I just think this section is fun. It makes me wanna rock out. And you totally should too. I'm pretty sure rocking out to songs you really like is super healthy. Always dance around so that if some weirdos saw you they'd wanna put it on youtube because it would definitely go viral. And be strong. It's okay to re-evaluate your life and change things up. That's good!

Losing friends and I'm chasing sleep
Everybody's worried about me
In too deep

........

I miss my home
But there's a fire burning in my bones
And I still believe

Okay, I'm skipping a little bit of stuff to make a point and because I don't think it matters. There was a part of my life (when my depression was at it's worst) where everyone was really worried about me and I didn't want them to be. Remember that people who worry about you generally love you. Also I just wanna say after everything that's been going on I finally got my mission papers turned in last week and it's been a long long wait for me. My brother was writing me emails (and he's a total weirdo and sometimes just ugh!) but he said "I'm worried you've lost your fire". First of all that's just silly, and weird that he phrased it that way. But my response to that is that "there's a fire burning in my bones and I still believe". Cause I still got a lot of fight left in me ;)

And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

This is the last piece I wanna talk about. I know it's been long, so thanks for hanging in there with me. I've faced a lot of hard hard things, especially the last year or so, and I've had some moments where I just wanted people to notice me or to know all the hard things I was doing. And there are times when you just want a little recognition. Or times when you simply want someone to believe in you. But I've learned that one of the most important things is believing in yourself. Again, I'm sorry, I know it's a little cliche but it's true. There comes a moment when you have to decide that you don't care what other people think of your choice, whether they support it or not, but you've got to keep fighting, you've got to believe enough it the choices you've made to go on. Otherwise why are you doing it? You have to be able to love your life, and love your choices. So above all else be committed to your choices and don't let anyone tell you that you can't. Because you've just got to keep fighting. If you run out of the will to fight you will literally die. Because life is a battle (the cliches are out of hand, I know) and no one is going to be able to protect you from yourself. And sometimes, most of the time, you are your own worst enemy. Just don't let other people turn you against yourself. You are strong enough, and you are good enough. Your choices are yours alone and decide to ignore what everyone else believes and keep fighting.

So I guess my big conclusion is that you should speak up and commit.

Life doesn't get easier. But we do get stronger.