A Judgment Call

          There's a girl who sits next to me in choir and between her and the boy sitting beside her I'm terrified of life. They talk about people and are so cruel! Often when I complain about these sorts of things I have friends who say things like "That's just the way it is," and I refuse to accept that! People should be better than that. Don't they want to be?
          The girl tells her friend how it's so awful that this boy across the room sings so loud because he's clearly tone deaf and how the girl a couple rows in front of us is a "whore" because of some very flimsy evidence. And it really disgusts me but it also frightens me. What might they think of me? When I'm not in class or when they aren't sitting beside me again what do they say? Do I even want to know? Do I really care?
          There's just something about it that leaves me sitting still and stiff during choir because I don't want to receive their judgment. And it's people like them that not only give our entire age group a bad reputation but they're also the people who end up bitter and unhappy. And where does this horrible desire of theirs come from where they want to say these terrible things about their peers? And why is it that the ones they say these things are the ones who are wacky? Crazy, nerds, theater geeks, loud, kind of annoying, and totally okay with themselves? Perhaps it's not the boy across the room or the girl a few rows in down that have the problem. They're both laughing and talking to lots of people who like them. So could it be that the problem lies with the two sitting beside me? Are they the ones who need to look closer at themselves? Isn't there something said about fixing the world from the inside out? Start with yourself and move outward? "He who is without sin cast the first stone." Isn't that what Christ said?
          So I guess the point here is me saying that I didn't like it. I didn't like what they were saying and I was even more displeased with myself for not telling them that I happened to be friends with the "tone deaf" boy and the quite kind girl in front of us. Start with yourself and let others follow but don't judge them because they do things differently. And certainly don't judge them for loving themselves and the life that they have.

Answered Prayers

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs

That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

             I don't know if you've ever heard the song Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks but it's a favorite of mine. I think it's beautiful and so true and just perfect! And I've thought about that song a lot recently but today, tonight I want to talk about the prayers that we receive answers to. In the most beautiful way too. I was in the middle of a really hard situation with a friend of mine who I just love. She's wonderful, but I was in sticky spot with her so instead of deciding what was right or wrong I decided that I loved her and that I would just keep loving her despite the situation. It was hard. And that night I knelt down beside my bed and I wept. I prayed and pleaded for understanding and guidance and it might very well be one of the hardest things that I've ever experienced. And then today, four days later, the situation has been altered and cleaned up quite unexpectedly. I wept again. I couldn't believe it. Of all the blessings I was expecting from my Father in Heaven it was not this. It was not that kind of blessing but I was so grateful for it. I saw my friends text message and right there I sat down on my stairs where I'd been standing and I prayed while I cried because I don't think I could ever properly express my gratitude. It was so wonderful. So the one of the last lines in the song is "I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all" and I just want to say that it's true. He does know. And I don't know all His reasoning for everything but I do know that it's all worked out and I've learned a lot in four short days so I just want to say that I know God answers prayers. Sometimes His silence is an answer in itself but so often you just have to kneel down and be grateful for the prayers that he does answer. Tonight I'm grateful for the answered prayers.